The wind hit my face and I knew;

knew it was over before it began

realization went down my throat

bitter,pungent,stale.

Pain came un invited.

Ah,yes pain wanted to make his presence felt.

He taunted and teased

I'd wince,he'd sneer.

I knew what I had to do,

but lacked the courage.

Courage,unlike pain

refused to come.

Courage for all her pride

said she had a prior appointment.

Guilt spread through my being,each part affected.

I knew where I was wrong,I knew what I had to do

Lack of courage led the guilt and pain

it spread through me like a cancer.

One so great I knew not what to do.

And swallowed by my own creation.

I waited for emptiness to consume me whole.

"And when she says I'm because of her, I laugh.

but without her I'm lost.

And though she inspires me,she weakens me

wastes me and I lose myself in her.

I swim in her subconscious

I drown in her sorrow.

I strengthen her

She weakens me

The ultimate price for me to remain me."

Wonderful Death

Want to escape from this hellhole

I want to escape its torture

I want to breathe one wonderful breathe,

And die a wonderful death.

Though I've lived some good times,

I can’t seem to any more

Even though I felt like living,

I don’t any more

I just want to breathe one last wonderful breath

Then die a wonderful death.

Confusion has taken toll on me,

Frustration its out come.

A strange feeling of doubt arises,

I Wonder 'what wrong have I done?'

It started as a small misunderstanding,

Its flames grew stronger

People only add their oil

And now in these flames our smiles burn.

This fire is taking its grip on me.

Your tears its out come.

And all fingers point at me

I wonder 'what wrong have I done?'

It started as a little breeze

Its force now fierce

And now in the whirlwind

Our trust is burning

A mixture of hatred and anger is taking its grip on me,

Confusion its outcome

No water for this fire, no stop to this wind

It only grows more intense

What starts as a quarrel, only grows to hatred

People only add their oil

And now in its flames

Our smiles are burning

You

You

You come,you take all
prove yourself big & me small.
You push & move on,smooth maneuver.
Sweet smile,back stab
serene,silent,scary.
You take, you win
I give ,I loose
You teach,I learn

You make me see, you make me blind

& all you've ever said is fresh in my mind.
You win. I loose
A lesson well learned
You smile, I believe

You prove me gullible

Since when am I less about me & more about you?

And so she walked in,

hesitant but confident, curious but content

hoping to be let in.

She walked through the door,

unsure of what to expect;

but happy to belong!

As she saw, she learned.

And as she learned she knew.

This was where she belonged!

kill her will

Hand me a trophy of insignificance,

a medal of nothingness

I want to glorify my belittled self.

'Ah yes behold,the inconsequential girl!

hold her high,for everyone to see

exhibit that worthless being.

Brand her lost and wreck her confidence!

Call her names and guarantee her defeat!

Shoot her down, that she'll never rise again!

Give her no hope that along with her, her will dies!'